Chaplain helps others cope with grief

  • Published
  • By Airman 1st Class Deana Heitzman
  • 31st Fighter Wing Public Affairs
AVIANO AIR BASE, Italy --  The young boy had experienced more than most children his age when he vowed to never leave his mother's side when she was sick. This not only made him stronger, but also inspired his passion to help others when they're grieving.

Chaplain (Capt.) Matthew Gallo, 31st Fighter Wing chaplain, created a six-week course based off his knowledge and experiences to help service members cope with the various stressors that cause grief.

"My mother has always been upfront during difficult situations," said Gallo. "My yearning to approach people in grieving situations is based on how she raised me and reacted while she was sick. I have to be involved in people's lives and follow what I teach others."

Gallo was an enlisted maintainer for nine years then obtained his pilot's license and pursued his passion in missionary aviation. Soon after, he settled in Kuwait as an Air Force contractor. Gallo had a steady job doing something he enjoyed, but his heart was directing him elsewhere.

"After two months of working, I felt God tell me I needed to go into chaplaincy," he said. "At first I wrestled with the idea because I thought I was already doing what was right for me."

Gallo returned to the states and pursued his education in chaplaincy.

During Gallo's journey, he kept running into opportunities to practice his skills helping people handle their grief. He first performed chaplain duties during an internship at the largest hospice in San Antonio.

Doors continued to open for Gallo, to include being the chaplain at the United States Department of Veterans Affairs in San Antonio, where he helped returning service members who had physical or mental injuries.

Gallo became a certified medical chaplain, continued his education in grief counseling and later joined the Air Force as a chaplain.

"After seminary and receiving orders to Aviano, I continued to embrace the doors that were opening for me," said Gallo.

Upon arriving to Aviano, Gallo put his education to the test and created a lesson plan to teach others how to cope with grief in a healthy manner.

Gallo designed the class for participants to lead group forums about what grief is, the process of grief healing and to give participants a chance to share their own stories and methods that helped them.

"Grief is one of the most important things in life that it can teach you more about yourself," he said. "You have to work through it and listen to it because it is so deep."

He also explains how military members can have unhealthy grieving methods and different kinds of grief.

"Grief is not always associated with a loss or death," said Gallo. "There are many different types of grief we experience that are outside the normal realm of civilian life. They can include changes in duty stations, deployments or temporary duty assignments. Some forms of grief people may not recognize."

Gallo explained how awareness and education can help fend off the manifestation of grief in each of the Air Force fitness pillars -- mental, physical, social and spiritual.

"Grief can affect all four pillars if you hold it to yourself," said Gallo. "During the class, I give the tools to learn how to cope, but after, it is up to them to use the techniques."    

Although Gallo developed the grief resiliency course to ensure Airmen are fit to fight, this is not the only outlet for Airmen to seek a support system.

"RUFit" is a newly implemented program aimed at educating service members on the right avenue to live a healthy, rounded lifestyle. November is also Warrior Care Month, which encourages service members to find balance and triumph in their personal and professional lives.

"I believe I am blessed to be able to get in the shoes of those who are suffering and experiencing heartache that most do not want to deal with," said Gallo. "I am blessed to learn from these amazing warriors who have suffered such grief and pain. It's through these many journeys that I am slowly more able to speak on the subject of grief with greater confidence."